Nawwar - (PEMBERI CAHAYA) Arfan - (MENGETAHUI)
I was actually due on 08/05/2018 , but god's plan , he arrive into the world on 22/04/2018 , 0543hrs . It was the most joyous day in my whole entire life , the day i was waiting for to celebrate his arrival has finally come .
At 0430hrs , 21/04/2018 , i was awaken by a gush of water flooding my bed , little did i know , my water bag had burst . I didn't think of anything unusual , so i woke up wash myself up change into a new pair of sleeping attire , and go back to bed . I was convincing myself that i pee in my pants ; laughing to myself to bed . When i was about to shut my eyes , i felt drips of water rolling down my leg . I wasn't panicked at all . Again , i woke up , washed up and changed .. repeatedly for about 4 times or so .
Got myself distracted and fell asleep . At 0700hrs , i woke up seeing myself wet again and this time i told my mum about it and she asked me to call up the delivery suite for further detail . She suspected it was my water bag but i refuse to believe . I wash up and lie down back while playing with alisha . the water stopped dripping for a few hours before it gush out again at around 0945hrs . I called my mum saying that i'm annoyed , lets go to the hospital for a check as the last time i called they say i can come over anytime . Mum rushed home from work and bring me to National University Hospital (NUH) . I was admitted into the delivery suite at 1100hrs . They ask me questions after question , answered it even though some questions are breaking my heart back then . I was accompanied by my mum , when the other patients was accompanied by their husband , it was a different feeling , trust me . But it's better than non .
So as we are waiting for the doctor to finish doing a check on me , she asked me " Do you feel any contraction ? " for a moment everything about me just stop , " No , i don't " . I was so nervous , why isn't there any contraction ? After checking , my cervix is open for 2 cm . Not having contraction is in fact a good thing . They insert a medication into me from the bottom , and have to wait for 4 hours , so i was moved into the normal ward . I was hungry , so i asked my mum to grab me food . While waiting for time to past , i slept and then i was waken by the porter telling me , its time . So at 1600hrs , i went down back , they check me again , my cervix opening increase by 2 cm , so now its 4 cm . Then i was transferred into my own room , and suddenly i felt terrified . I was not ready to deliver , so many things run around my head .
At 2100hrs , the doctor did another check on me again , my cervix open up another 2 cm , i was progressing but then again i was having contraction at every 10 min . I ask for laughing gas and held on . I endured the pain sleeping away and waking up , basically doing it on repeat while tears rolling down my cheek . When its 1200hrs the next day , i was crying and wailing to my mum because contraction was no joke , it was 2 mins apart now . She ask me to keep praying , May Allah s.w.t ease my affairs . I was getting weaker each minutes, i can see my mum hold her tears while keeping me distracted of the pain , at that moment ; I can imagine my mum's pain trying delivering me into the world . My mum told me , to take epidural as i was tossing and turning avoiding the pain , i don't know how i can endured it for hours and hours now . At around 0200hrs , i made the biggest decision , to finally take epidural , there was so many side effect but i don't bother about it anymore , i was dizzy , i was infused with too much laughing gas until i can't even held a pen properly to sign the agreement . The whole process took about 1/2 hour . After the injection , i vomited and guess what ..
I passed out , everything was unclear , my vision was blurred , my hand turned cold , my lips turned blue . I was out for sometime , by the time i'm awake , i saw my cousin , in the room with me . I asked "Where's my mum ?", your mum is downstair with my dad , auntie, uncle and my brother . She cried the moment u passed out and you should have seen the commotion in the room , you alone was handled my 4 nurses and 2 doctor . I didn't expect it to happen , and this time the doctor announced that she give me up till 0500hrs for my cervix to open up if not , emergency c-sect because my BP is low , so is the baby inside of me . We were both on the border line . I told you all , i was weak , very weak .
I was pushed out at 0500hrs into the operation theatre , i was dizzy , sleepy and tired . I was lethargic . The wait is over , they insert more tube into me from the back , from my hand , the pain , when the flushes my tube line ... I had my bottom torso numb so during the whole process all i can feel is something pushed against me .
I woke up seeing myself , being pushed into a holding area ; no baby , no mum . I was too weak to ask about them , i was about to close my eyes suddenly a familiar silhouette came closer , it was my mum with nawwar .
From that moment onwards , i told myself , if i can do this alone , nothing can push me down . No one says it was easy raising a child alone but don't fear the obstacles . For me , my son happiness is my priority .
With Love , Eyqa Chulo
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